Starvin’ Marvin: 1904-1990
My Grandfather’s Three Time-Tested Ways to Feed Your Soul.
About this time each year, my paternal grandfather would reluctantly retrieve his beloved orange tree from the sunny outside for another winter indoors. He had grown up in southern Georgia where fruit trees thrived year-round. Life’s twists and turns landed him in southwestern Missouri where the summers are hot and winters are cold. It is really no place for an orange tree.
Over the long winters he would talk to his little tree, sing to it, pray over it and sometimes scold it for being a slacker. As the spring brought welcome sunshine for days outside, Grandfather would begin the daily task of hauling it in and out, morning and night. He would move it around the backyard chasing the sun. During the very hot summer months he would monitor its water intake and make sure the native Missouri pests did not interfere. And then, autumn would inevitably arrive, again and again, with no sign of fruit.
Truly, it meant nothing if the little tree grew or not. It would feed no family. It would generate no income. It would not win a prize at the county fair. The little tree became quite a topic of conversation among family and friends. It even made the prayer list at his Southern Baptist church one year! Somehow, he made this goal important to everyone. And, he never gave up on it.
I loved this about my Grandfather. He had a gift of bringing people together. Of talking of topics that weren’t divisive. Of hopeful thinking for the future. Of making charming conversation when politics and gossip and hard times had their own difficult relativity in that era. He was especially darling.
It was the third grade that he never finished. His family had fallen on hard times and he was needed in the cotton fields as a picker’s helper. One brother was tragically killed and the other mysteriously disappeared. Even as an 8-year old he could help enormously when there was a family on the brink of starvation. He understood.
Naturally, he grew up skinny. But as a grandfather he had a perfectly jolly belly. He nurtured us with food, cooked with gusto, even shared his secret recipes, but he always seemed to be hungry. We still lovingly refer to him as “Starvin’ Marvin”, yet he preferred “Grandfather”!
He did not become a particularly successful businessman. Ownership in a failing Jacksonville Florida diner forced him and Grandmother to seek out a new town. They saw their daughter married at 18 in the family home and left with their high school aged son for a fresh start. A travelling sales position in Springfield, MO beckoned.
In between, Grandfather taught himself to read, write, and type. He was a wiz at long hand math. His two sisters were able to finish high school, because he worked so they did not have to be in the fields. It was this very kindness that is so amazing. His persistence. His resilience. His sunny disposition. All amazing.
Sometimes when I find myself talking to the clerk at the register while checking out or visiting with a person while standing in line, or making small talk on a customer service phone call, I remind myself of my grandfather, chattering away. He was just that guy. Never knew a stranger. Loved life every day. Didn’t see himself as a victim, despite actually being one at the raw age of 8. Just imagine the grit of his early life.
As a result of being his granddaughter, I seek happy headlines. Encouraging news. Ideas that make some sense in our new world. Not all the righteous, angry, name calling, shaming stuff. Grandfather could always see the bright side. With his lifelong encouragement, I do too.
These trending topics are on the brighter side, and what I know my grandfather would encourage all of us to pursue:
1. Make a garden. Science has repeatedly shown that it helps the soul. It can be a few herbs in pots on your porch, a big native flower expanse in the backyard to attract birds and bees and butterflies, or just a bright little container for an orange tree.
“A recent study has found that having a front garden filled with plants increases happiness and reduces stress”…Rumer Neill, House & Garden, October 7, 2020
Check out “Epic Gardening” on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/EpicGardening/featured
2. Tell your story. Or tell the stories of your people. Journaling has also been proven to provide care and feeding to the soul. Use a notebook with pencil or pen from the corner store, make a new folder on your computer or find a special workbook that helps you tackle what’s on your mind.
“The journaling method you choose can depend on your needs at the time, and your personality; just do what feels right”…Elizabeth Scott, MS, verywellmind, March 27, 2020
Check out our “Guided Journals” at www.BooksByACE.com. We designed them to help you capture the treasured stories and moments in your life and the lives of others. Or search for “Journals, Workbooks, and Organizers”
3. Be kind. Every single person has a burden. Disregard their external identifiers. All of them. Inside there is a burden they are struggling to manage. Assume nothing about the people you meet. Assume your kindness toward them will matter. This too will feed your soul.
“The ‘warm glow’ we get from helping others corresponds with activity we see in the striatum (area of the brain) and researchers think that this is likely the biological basis in that feeling. The Science Behind Why Being Kind Makes You Feel Good, April 18, 2018
Check out “Helping Others Makes Us Happier”…Ted Talk by Elizabeth Dunn, May 20, 2019 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lUKhMUZnLuw
Be safe. Be well. Be strong.
Annie P anniepresley.guru